- I fast to repent for sins and ideally shed a few pounds

Sadly, that's what my teenage self did. I actually used to weigh myself after fast days.

Apologies — some more Jew stuff coming your way but this should be it for awhile. I mean, after Yom Kippur, the holiest of the holies there’s Sukkot, and only a handful of Jews even know what that is!

I mean for God’s sake, what the fuck is a “tabernacle” and why would anyone choose to define the Hebrew term with something almost as incomprehensible?

Anyway for YK (if the kids can use “lol” then I can also lamely abbreviate) I will be in synagogue, starving and cursing man and God for making me skip my usual 2+ cups of coffee a day.

I have some friends who ween themselves off of caffeine in the days before the fast but that strikes me as absurd. All that accomplishes is to make the week before the fast as miserable as YK itself.

But at least there is smoked fish and alcohol at the end of the tunnel.

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