Last week, I named Miss Piggy the first official pop culture anti-girlfriend. (There will be many others, just you wait.) And today, Jezebel excerpted a chapter from Julie Klausner‘s very funny memoir, I Don’t Care About Your Band, which highlights both this idea and Kermit the Frog’s general unfitness to be a boyfriend or partner.
Kermit never wanted to devote his life to making Piggy happy — he just wanted to host his show and enjoy hanging out with his friends. Anything more she’d ask of him would elicit a gulp…I wonder how many guys from my generation looked to Kermit as an example of what the coolest guy in the room looks like. How maybe they think it’s fine to defer the advances of the fabulous women they know will always be there, while they dreamily pursue creative endeavors and dabble with other contenders. How maybe they learned the value of bromance from Kermit’s constant emphasis on his obligations to his friends before his ball and chain. And how maybe they figured out that if you’re soft-spoken and shy, but you know how to play a musical instrument, girls will come in droves. You just keep your creativity flowing and your guy friends close, and you’ll have to beat the ladies down with a stick.
The rest of the book is similarly filled with funny sex and relationship insights drawn from popular culture and show tunes. You should go and buy it.