Of sex, pianos and kazoos
I was recently was at an event where a sex therapist presented her perspective on pleasure in twenty slides as she humorously narrated. She noted that male sexual pleasure is relatively simple when compared to that of a woman. She illustrated her point with two photographs. One has just one switch, representing the man’s single on/off switch. Below it was a complicated switchboard with many flips and lights–not to be used by anyone other than a trained professional. Everyone laughed. The message was obvious.
This reminded me of a conversation I had not too long ago with the same sassy young lady who observed the gynecological differences between Jewish and non-Jewish women. (Let it be known that both conversations took place in public at a restaurant and we weren’t too careful about moderating the volume of our voices.) We were discussing the very same topic as the aforementioned. Except that the imagery my friend used to describe the differences between men and women was less technological and more musical.
“A woman is like a piano. You have to know which keys to press and in what order. You’ve got to know when to hit the keys hard and when to be gentler,” she said. In a word, pleasing a woman in bed, like playing the piano, is an art that requires lots of practice
“A man,” she continued, “is like a kazoo.” You know, the instrument that was given to those who couldn’t figure out the recorder during music class, the thing that sort of made you sound like Alvin and the Chipmunks. Sure, there are those that are better at playing the kazoo than others but there is still just one essential function, one switch, one set of sounds.
More pressure for men–perhaps. But the potential glory is also greater. No matter how good you get at playing the kazoo, you’re never going to end up playing at Carnegie Hall.