This is a sign I found on the inside of a women’s restroom in a Silverlake restaurant/bar:

I guess their pipes are too delicate for bows, dolls, the color pink, and Zooey Deschanel.

I know that “sanitary napkins” is a really gross term that we should never, ever say lest we freak out all of the men that frequent the women’s bathroom. Ditto for tampons. It practically rhymes with “trampons” and that will one day be a word that means, “the tampons that tramps use.” (Trust me, it will happen.)

From here on out, I’m going to refer to my period as my “girly time of the month.” It makes bleeding and the sloughing off of my uterine lining downright adorable, just like a basket of puppies.

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