The Etiquette of Re-Gifting Your Virginity
Last week I caught the dreaded killer flu and spent the entire time in bed, watching an obscene amount of television. (Well, it’s only obscene if you’re not terribly ill. If you’re sick, it’s entirely justified.)
One of the shows I’ve been watching continuously is Gilmore Girls. It had been a favorite when I was in high school/college, but I hadn’t watched it since the series ended its run in 2007.
In a sixth season episode, the 21-year-old Rory Gilmore is forced to have The Talk with the family priest about her virginity (which she no longer possessed). He went about the usual pablum–virtue, gifts, womanhood–but added then added a twist:
You know being a young woman comes with many gifts. Your virtue for example is a precious gift, possibly the most precious gift you posess. You want to give this gift very carefully. It’s a gift you can only give to one man. Once you give it, it’s gone. You can’t regift it. If you give it away too soon to the wrong man, then when the right one does come along, you have no gift to give. You’ll have to buy him a sweater.
I never considered my hymen and blood to be a special present to the guy I ended up giving them to–and judging by the way some men react to the idea of period sex, I don’t think they considered this bloody form a virtue a present either.
But I am tickled (and grossed out) by the idea of re-gifting one’s virginity. Re-gifting of items such as candlesticks or a scarf is considered rude but inevitable and something you can get away with if you are careful not to re-gift within the same friend circle that you received the present.
And since many of us tend to sleep and date in our circle of friends, the “re-gifting” of virtue will happen anyway.