Antigirlfriend.com

Like most women, most of the men I’ve slept with have been average sized and that is just fine with me. As Dan Savage notes in nearly every podcast, most women don’t come from intercourse alone so other, non-penile means are often necessary so who cares whether or not the organ is extraordinarily large?

Anyway, onto the incident that inspired this comic. I was telling the fabulous FEMA Fatale about an encounter I had had several months ago. I took a guy I had met on a few different occasions home from a party. Back at my apartment things progressed to the point that we needed condoms. I told him that I had none. “You don’t have condoms?” he asked, looking surprised.

“No,” I said, checking the cabinet to see if there were any left from my last encounter several months prior. “But I’m sure the bodega on the corner has some.”

He slipped back into his pants and came back a few minutes later with a package of extra-larges, which he did need. When I saw this I wanted to tell him– Even if I did have condoms on hand what makes you think that they would be in your size? You’re not average.

It’s like keeping kosher, which is not the norm, and expecting to find kosher food all of the time.  You have to bring your own. Ditto for vegans. And for men with large penises. Women can’t be expected to carry a whole range of  condom sizes. My apartment isn’t the home of the Three Bears. I don’t have three beds, chairs and prophylactics. If you have special condom needs, bring your own. I won’t accuse you of being presumptuous.

As for the comic–after I finished telling FEMA about this incident, she countered with this–how about carrying condoms only in sizes you’re willing to sleep with?

And this folks is the process by which great art is created.