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Z Listed

by Anti-Girlfriend on November 10, 2011 at 8:39 am
Posted In: Blog

Kathy Griffin lives on the D List, not the Z List (photo by gdcgraphics)

If you’re like me, you don’t like to even scroll past the names of guys you dated who treated you crappily or with whom things ended badly, which can happen while you’re searching absentmindedly through your cell phone’s directory. I tend to do this a lot–scrolling through the address book searching for numbers to delete while waiting for friends. I’m generally early and they are late so I often find myself with time on my thumbs. I should add that I don’t own a smart phone so my device has view ways to entertain me.

Though I sometimes delete these numbers while I’m waiting, it’s not necessarily the wisest move. If I don’t have their numbers anymore, I can’t screen should any of these dudes call. This was what happened with the guy who named me the Anti-Girlfriend. I deleted his number when he returned to Los Angeles during a cell phone purge, which is why I didn’t know who it was months later when he called.

My brilliant friend told me how she has solved this particular cell phone problem–the Z list.

She adds a “Z” in front of the names of all these guys–ones she doesn’t want to scroll past and be reminded of, or ones that she doesn’t want to scroll past and be tempted to call. The added “Z” sends the guy down to the bottom of my directory, which I rarely ever get to anyway.

This way, they’re out of sight and mostly out of mind, but still can be screened. That’s life on the Z List.

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└ Tags: dating, kathy griffin, My Life on the D List, relationships, screeining, sex, smart phone, The Anti-Girlfriend
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Call your girlfriend

by Anti-Girlfriend on November 9, 2011 at 10:00 am
Posted In: Blog

Here’s a remake of Robyn’s song “Call Your Girlfriend,” about going from girlfriend to ex. Except instead of a techno beat, you’ve got three girls with lovely, wispy voices doing percussion on what appear to be empty tubs of margarine? Small ice cream containers? (I really shouldn’t write these posts when I’m hungry.)

Perhaps they should join the drum circle at Zuccotti Park.

 

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└ Tags: Call Your Girlfriend, Erato, girlfriend, Occupy Wall Street, OWS, Robyn, Zuccotti Park
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Is pretense necessary?

by Anti-Girlfriend on November 7, 2011 at 12:00 pm
Posted In: Blog, Modern Love Recaps

Or sex.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a response to an achingly lovely Modern Love column, which is a weekly feature in the New York Times’ Style section. I’ve decided to respond to this week’s Modern Love in what I hope becomes a recurring Anti-Girlfriend feature. 

In this week’s Modern Love, Teresa DiFalco writes about the breakup of her marriage of 12 years due to her husband’s extramarital relationship which had begun after he posted an ad in the Casual Encounters section of Craigslist.

But DiFalco’s essay wasn’t about her husband’s experience on the hook-up and sex site. It was about her own. After she learned of her husband’s infidelity, she hastily created an ad for herself and uploaded it:

My decision was impulsive. I was sitting on our back patio, listening to the snores of our family dog and laughter from my children. Against this backdrop, my act felt sordid. Three mouse clicks put me into “w4m” (women for men). I hadn’t thought it through but managed a serviceable ad on my feet. It read: “Freshly divorced and want my confidence back! I’m 5’10”, long sandy blond hair. I’m new at this, a little nervous. I don’t know what to put down.”

↓ Read the rest of this entry…

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└ Tags: Casual Encounters, civility, Craigslist, infidelity, Israel, Life and Def, Modern Love, OkCupid, online dating, politeness, relationships, Russell Simmons, sex, The New York Times
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7 billion but none for you

by Anti-Girlfriend on November 4, 2011 at 12:51 pm
Posted In: Blog
someecards.com - I'm sorry that there are now 7 billion people in the world and you are still single.

Mom--when did you start creating someecards?

As many of you know, the global population just hit the 7 billion mark. (See? This site isn’t merely frivolous. I keep you up-to-date on current events, too!) Presumably, this milestone should mean that the dating market will have an even greater number of options. The more people, the more possibilities?

Well, not really. If you have read any of the alarmist dating/mating articles that have come out of the Atlantic in the past year, especially the recent one from Kate Bolick entitled, “All the Single Ladies,” then you’d know that more is just more, not necessarily better and certainly not merrier.

↓ Read the rest of this entry…

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└ Tags: Hana Rosin, Kate Bolick, Slate, The Altantic, The End of Men
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Let’s play the name game

by Anti-Girlfriend on November 2, 2011 at 10:17 am
Posted In: Blog

This week, the origin story for the “the Anti-Girlfriend” concluded in the comics section of the site. (Many thanks to FEMA Fatale for her sharp and fun visuals.) And now that the moniker’s back story has been fully explained, I am going to move forward into more fictional terrain.

Yet even if the “how” of “anti-girlfriend” has been explored–the plot points that led to me being branded with an insulting yet highly original name (gotta give credit where it’s due–the name is unique)–there is still a lot to understand about the term itself.

When I’ve told people the story, generally their first question to me is, “What does that even mean?” or “What did he mean by that?” And I usually say something that apparently he found me more fun than his girlfriend and insulted that (probably) very nice person in the process of complimenting me.

Not that I interpreted his words as pure compliment. It also seemed like a swipe at me. He seemed to be saying that something about me was inimical to girlfriend-hood. In addition, his amusing phrasing seemed to imply some abdication of responsibility for his role in deceiving me (and his girlfriend). By using “the” and “anti,” he reminded me of “the anti-Christ.” He was making me out to be some devilish creature onto whom he could shift blame as people have done for thousands of years. A temptress, a 21st Century Eve of sorts, yet instead of an apple, I enticed with my karaoke renditions of Summer Lovin’ and You Know I’m No Good. (Okay, I’ll admit–anytime you sing Amy Winehouse, you invite certain types of thoughts and comparisons.)

But even if this story was the inspiration for the name, in buying this domain name and starting the comic and blog, I’ve decided to reclaim the term and turn into something different, complex and dare I say, positive?  (Just the way the LGBT community has done with “queer.” Except I haven’t had to agitate for my civil rights like those folks had to.)

But before we get onto all of that positivity, I want to know what was the most unusual, hurtful, insulting or even kind thing a guy/girl has ever called you in the course of dating? As always, gold stars for originality.

A here’s little Kanye West inspiration for the name-blame game.

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└ Tags: Amy Winehouse, antigirlfriend, dating, John Legend, Kanye West, relationships, sex, The Anti-Girlfriend
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